The stillness of that moment when we looked up at the stars lingers in a part of my soul that I want to keep. I may not always touch it, but I know for certain its there. I was so cold.
This all could be part of this thing I've been saying lately. "I want to be a guy with secrets." I want to be that guy who knows how to keep some things to himself. There's a practicality in that. Not only do I get to save you from some of the useless and foolish things I'm prone to say sometimes, but I also get to own the memories that keep me alive. It's really hard to do. I like to talk. So do a lot of other people. The thrill of sharing with someone is worth the risk of losing your treasured instance.
It's a funny thing when memory runs through one's veins. Maybe that's what makes us different. It's not blood we shed when we're pierced. It's pure recollection resting beneath our skin. That silence is so precious to me. We can't taint it with the noise of this world. The core of a man so far down that the movement of violence would seek to finish is what we'll guard with our lives. When it passes, so do our souls.
"There in the dark the truth of it is we're all so afraid to be quiet as the weight of mystery presses in on us. But there are some things you and I are just not meant to know. Can we just stop to wonder that we're here at all?" In all truth. I just want to go back to that firefly field just one more time so I know that it's real. I don't want to see what I've seen since then. I don't want to know how the story ends. I just want to live in that moment forever.
In some ways we always will.
"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."
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