You can use this as you will, but I won't cross my fingers yet...

 Somewhere out there, my future is waiting for me. I don't have a blind faith, but I do have a faith that is willing to close it's eyes and take the fall...

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

Can't you see, I'm what you're looking for?

There is so much learning in the world. There are so many things to consider. How do I sort out what is most important? Still working on that one. I at least know what I want to find...

 "In all debates, let truth be thy aim, not victory, or an unjust interest." - William Penn



"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

We keep the cash on deck...

I've got a confession to make. Sometimes, I will use big words because they sound like they fit in my sentence...without really knowing what they mean. Then I go look up the definition later. Sometimes it comes back to bite me...

You're welcome.

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

Poets do not go mad, but chess-players do...

         http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZh5a2UAL5Y

            Something seems a bit off. It might be because I don't know what I'm thinking, but it might be because I know almost too well. You see a problem I’ve been having lately is that I've become incredibly sane, incredibly aware of what it is that's around me.  I find myself searching for oddities, possibilities, strange things and holes in the middle of society, but they've always been sewn up.  Even as I speak I stand at the window of my apartment without the slightest inclination that I'm to jump. I gaze at the street below to see the people going about their business and wondering how many of them are oppressed as I am. Slaves to their own society. You might look at me and say that I simply been watching Fight Club too much. 

            Actually what’s wrong is that I’m missing something, a sense of wonderment bewilderment that has passed me by for far too long.  I don't know where it’s gone and I'm not sure how to get it back. Everyone else around me is either questioning too much or not questioning enough, so where does that leave me? Only the ones that I look up to the most are silent.  Yeah I know it's the same old song and dance and I've heard all the songs played so many times before. But it's always my words that don't come out right. It's always the words of others that bewilder me. Heaven have mercy on me and me lack of control. I lost an ambulance race down the street. With it’s lights on and siren blaring, it was the only sense of urgency anywhere in this town. The only source of desperation I could find. I'm almost drawn to the desperation. Something about desperation makes one feel alive.  Now I'm just talking crazy. Has reason made me so beautifully crazy that I am now reasonable?

 I'm not sure I'll be fine in the morning, so don’t wait to find out.

 



"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."