So here's to living life, miserable

My nerves will be the death of me, I know.  But at least I won't be alone tonight.

I am intollerent of tolerance. Acceptance of everything becomes the ultimate apathy towards the very fabric of life itself. No standard  of the sublime kills the righteous. I despise science, it only thinks itself important in arrogance. Only does it gain the upperhand by asking another question. Such a logical fallacy can't stand even under the facade of it's own sanctums.

I don't see the difference between what is required of me and what the rest of the world wants, I've been so long at trying to make my efforts matter that somewhere along the line I just gave up. Being the patron saint of lost causes will wear on a soul after a while. I just wasn't witty enough for them, or my hair wasn't crazy enough. Maybe it's just because I have bad breath. I don't know, it doesn't really matter anyway.


Sometimes  there are just too many people walking in and out of the door marked "employee's only." I know I'm not suppose to be back there and so I stay out, but everyone who waltzes back and forth on that precipice seems to know something that I don't. They have some sense of profound peace which is just out of my gasp. They're certainly not in uniform.

What do I care, my legs and ears hurt and I can't stand the sight of all the pretty girls walking by, each with their empty eyes and casual shuffle. It's all starting to get to me, and I know that it's my fault.


Lord, keep your promises to me, please.

I can't save myself from this overwhelming pressure.

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."