Tonight, I stepped out onto the balcony hoping that someone would follow me. I didn't have any plans to jump, I just wanted someone to think I was worth following out the door. I want to find someone who is kind, and patient, and punctual, and is not afraid of my insecurities. It may be a bit too much to ask.
How long does it take for a broken heart to mend? I wish someone had the answer to that. I cut the last cord and sewed the final seam a long time ago, but she's not quite pumping the way she used to. Slower, louder, with greater caution. I use the word convalescence alot, but I'm not sure how long that sore of healing is meant to continue. Months? Years? Decades? I hope someday I'll know. Until then I'm just another oblivious child forever reaching up for his Father. Perhaps when that time comes, and I'm not in the middle of this transitional period, I'll have something worth saying to the world again.
I just want to be a good man, and this small man is afraid. Afraid he may have emptied his last clip. Afraid he may have lost the bet. Afraid he may have turned up with the last trap sprung and no prize caught. What is this knot around my ankle? With a swish and the flutter of
creatures in the nearby brush, I am swung upwards to the heavens with a
mighty rushing sound. I am unreservedly content. Suspended between the sky and earth, all of the mixed metaphors stop making sense.
"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."
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