All you can do is try to know who your friends are, as you head off to the war...

 "Put ethics and philosophy together and you get religion..."

"You're a chuggernaught!"

“Alright! Devotion begins on the floor!”

“If I ever hear you say the book of Deuteronomy is irrelevant to your life, I will personally come to your house and slap you. I will slap you in front of your mama...”

“Song of Solomon has got to be one of those earlier engagements, by number one-thousand he’s got to be like… ‘You’re hot.’”

“That’s how we grow up in Christ, we stop putting weed killer in our bodies and start putting in miracle grow…”

“What is the carnage of our redemption?”  *Chuckles*

“Don’t think evangelism is about having a parking place near the door!”

“Wait, is your shirt in a different language?”

"Holocaust jokes aren't funny, Anne Frankly, I won't stand for them..."

“You see, she gets angry with drama the way I get angry with stupid people!”

“I like my beard, but I always have to trim my sideburns. One time I didn’t shave them, and they started to whistle. They would whistle when I would run…then I thought I had a hearing problem.”

"You know, I think you're the first boy I've talked to all week..."

“Don’t be gross to fit in, It never works…”

“Oh no! It’s the vampire, mummy, elephant squirrels! They’re coming to get us!”

“Someone may be sincerely wrong, but when exposed to the truth, they will either cease to be wrong, or cease to be sincere…”

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."