If you leave, I hope you need to come back!

This stupid blog is too serious...

My mother always says that joy is a choice you have to make...and I'm starting to believe it.
So here's ten things that made my day joyful.

#1. Heard a good story...
#2. Translated a secret...
#3. Befriended a traveler...
#4. Had a thumb war...
#5. Tasted the best cookies & cream ever...
#6. Discussed the Truth...
#7. Inquired...
#8. Neapolitan Skyline...
#9. Eyes.
#10. Love...That's really all it is. It is the means to every end worth reaching.




"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

Through the highs and lows, there's a truth that I know...and it's you.

WARNING: Proceed with caution. The following words contain the desperate sentiments of a teenage philosopher. Read only if you have ample time to consider them and a mindset open to ideas...Additionally, the songs add to the ideas...by not listening to them, one can lose much power in the interpretation of the following post. Thank you.

“Life is a paradox, Tyler. Just get used to it…” That’s what I told myself today as I engaged myself in conversation.  The conversation itself was ideological in nature and was intense beyond measure. You know how that goes sometimes. I dunno… you might not, but I just have those moments when my brain is racing and all of the dark passageways are, for once, lit. That’s what happened today, I was reading Dante’s Inferno for the second time when this particular circumstance attacked me…but perhaps I should start at the beginning…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNgK--z2P3E&ob=av3e

            

       This past year has been a strange one, as has been every year since I moved to Indiana. Of course, I imagine that every year to come is going to feel this exact same way. Things have happened, times have come, people have spoken, the wind has blown, the clouds have moved, and I sometimes feel as though I understand why. I simply consider myself a plain observer, I take joy in the examination of the life set before me and actively spend time considering the ins, outs, round-abouts and reasons why. Sometimes I come to conclusions, but other times I just punch myself in the face and say “Tyler! You Idiot…” (Sometimes other people do it too…If you deem it necessary, feel free to do so…just be ready to explain your reasons. *Smirk*) Some people (like my parents) call this feeling “growing up” I just call it…To be honest…I don’t know what to call it…but I love it, and hate it at the same time. Some days, I feel as though the entire world is mine. I could walk down the street and do whatever I want, because I’m bigger than everything around me. Meanwhile, other days, I feel as though everyone can see me because I’m covered in stains, dark, reeking, stains which are congealing on my face and clothes. Perhaps it should be described as “Reasoning.” All I know is that it leads me to talk to myself…something many people find weird. (No I’m not hearing any voices…just my own…) For the sake of writing, I’ll simply refer to this as “The feeling.”

In spite of it all, life has continued. For a Boy growing up in small-town, Mid-Eastern America, Columbus has given me many events and words to fuel this “feeling.” Everything from High school, to work, to girls (yikes) and of course, the words spoken by my LORD. I never quite know how to look at the world each day as I rise, and that’s what’s unnerving…but I digress…Those of you who know my story over the past four years will know what (I believe) was originally a catalyst for this “feeling.” And for those of you who don’t know what’s happened this year so far…we’ll just say that certain things kind of resurfaced (as they always do…aye aye aye.) Because of this, coupled with the fact that graduation is in May (YIKES!) “The feeling” has kinda taken off in HyperactivityGregManeyI’mgoingcrazyasIrunaroundtheentireworldinthirtyseconds mode. This is what my mind is like on a daily basis right? So that, coupled with the fact I drank a Monster kind of kicks everything into high gear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMVzRYreDGw

So here’s the scene right? I’m at the IUPUC campus on a Wednesday morning, I typically hang out there these days before class and (try to) get some homework done. It being Wednesday, my NYPD Lit Forum assignment is due in two days, and I haven’t even started to read the new book, so that is what I begin to do.  Having read Dante’s Inferno before, and not fully understood it in the first reading; I am thoroughly excited about re-reading this fascinating story. However, this time, I actually read the introduction, (written by the translator, Mark Musa) before hopping right into the book. I was suddenly bombarded with a slew of Biographical information on whom other than Dante himself. As I read this description of Dante and his ideals, I find myself strongly drawn to the person described. A man who grew up, was educated, was familiar with life both in and outside of the city, had a pleasant family, possessed (as far as we can tell)  a happy marriage with several children, and one who’s entire life was steeped, mile high, in ideals attained which he simply wished to express. I mean who wouldn’t relate to such a character?  I also read of Dante’s muse.  At the age of nine, Dante supposedly met an individual who grew to be a Florentine Noble woman of outstanding beauty, who is known by the name Beatrice.  Dante “who favored the study of theology and Latin poetic models”(19) is apparently a hopeless romantic (Figures…) who wrote many poems, and considered the ideal of “Love” quite a lot. These considerations, were, in his writings, almost always connected to (of course) his muse. In Dante’s writing Vita Nuova or The New Life, Love is the chief object of discussion. “The words of the first spirit describing Beatrice anticipate the first coming of Love in the next chapter and suggest something of terror…” Set up as a physical character love is described several different ways. “He is mentioned first of all as a ruler, but we learn immediately that much of his power is derived from the protagonist’s imagination…We are also told that Love’s power is restricted by reason, and later in the book the relation between Love and reason becomes an important problem. Two more themes are posited in the this chapter…the godlike nature of Beatrice, and the strong “praise of the lady” motif which sounds throughout the chapter, as the protagonist’s admiration for Beatrice keeps growing during the nine years after her first appearance.” (24) I’d say it’s safe to say that Dante passionately loved this Beatrice character, especially because she takes this form in just about every single one of his works. Being a hopeless romantic by nature (as many of my close companions can testify to) this concept of true love, in a character with which I already felt a strong connection, undoubtedly interested me. So I did what any reader would do…read on. However, what I would find wasn’t necessarily what I was expecting.

The writings went on to say, “One might even say that the Vita Nuova is a cruel book. Cruel that is, in the treatment of the human type represented by the protagonist. In the picture of the lover there is offered a condemnation of the vice of emotional self-indulgence and an exposure of its destructive effects on a man’s integrity. The “tender feelings” that move the lover to hope or despair, to rejoice or to grieve (and perhaps even to enjoy his grief) spring from his vulnerability and instability and self-love.” (25) Wait a minute... Did Mark Musa just say that Dante’s basic message consists of “Lovers experience intense feelings such as described because they are unstable and self-centered?” When I thought this, something inside me just screamed, “NO.” There’s got to be something faulty with that. It just doesn’t fit my entire perception of reality. I continued to read…“However, idealistically inspired, these feelings cannot, except spasmodically, lead him ahead and above: as long as continues to be at their mercy, he must always fall back into the helplessness of his self-centeredness. The man who would realize his poetic destiny must ruthlessly cut out his heart, the canker at its center, the canker that the heart instinctively tends to cultivate. This is, I am convinced, the main message, of the Vita Nuova. And the consistent, uncompromising indictment it levels has no parallel in the literature of Dante’s time. But of course, the Vita Nuova offers more than a picture of the misguided lover: there is also the glory of Beatrice and the slowly increasing ability of the lover to understand, although he must nevertheless confess, at the end, that he has not truly understood it.”(26)

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LayH4hiFNs&feature=related 

This particular sentiment confused me profusely.  I agreed with the solution, but not the problem. Without a doubt, romantic love as modern day American’s understand it can be formed upon a false basis of self-centered desires. Love in any form with such a basis, should be avoided by each and every individual, for fear of serious consequences. On the other hand, those who understand Christianity can understand know that true love exists and can be experienced. In first Corinthians 13 love is described, largely in part by what it is not, and partly by what it is. “If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” Christians can also understand what love looks like by examining the words in 1 John 3:16-20, which state, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.” Clearly, true love exists and can be demonstrated. Love, in its purest form is unable to be divided into two separate parts. The emotions which one feels and the actions which one performs, if they be products of true love, will be synonymous with each other. True love will never cause any individual to require the casting off of virtue or truth, in exchange for evil or falsehood. In that same sense, Love, in its purest form, is eternal and indestructible. This is true of love on any scale, be it between a man and his family, between a man and a woman, or between a man and God.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHbWL4J-Ueo

 The issue then is this. The feelings described on page 25 as the products of such a “vice” as love cannot be damaging, unless one first believes that the faulty premise first given is truth. (Which the Bible basically says is false… As Phil would say ‘BOOM! Roasted…’) Maybe I’m biased, because I have experienced said feelings and refuse to believe they were the effects of self-centered love. However, everything inside of me screams that it is so. At the same time, I have attempted the solution spoken of on page 26.  “The canker that the heart instinctively tends to cultivate” must refer in general to feelings of romantic love. Feelings of which I have attempted to deal with in such a violent fashion as spoken of by Musa in these passages. Even more confusing in my mind is the fact that I have performed said actions (however successful or not) in order to avoid that self-centered love which was spoken of, all the while still experiencing, hope, despair, joy, grief, and yes, a certain sense of enjoyment in grief. (Please crack all your sissy, emo boy jokes here before continuing to read…No seriously, you’re probably right.) I’ve felt it…and yes at times they have been because of selfish desires, but I refuse to believe that’s what causes them now. I’ve had the surgery. I’ve ripped out my own heart as much as living will allow, but I still feel this way…There are some days I cannot fathom why I feel like I do, because of all the confusion and foolishness on my own part, yet I still feel quite the same. Oh well, the heart seems to do what it wants on so many occasions. The complexity of human emotions continues to astound and amaze me every day! Yet, in the midst of all this…I still have never written a sincere love song.(Drat…) Some days I can’t even get the words to pass my lips, much less my fingers. But hey…that’s why I write, isn’t it? To describe the indescribable?

 What if I’m wrong? If I’m wrong, I figure someone will eventually show me the reason why. And if not??? I dunno, maybe Dante is right. Maybe Dante is right and Musa is just wrong. Or maybe they’re both wrong. Maybe…just maybe…maybe I’ve got it. I'll just keep holding on to the words in Psalm 119:100, "I understand more than the ancients, because I keep Your precepts..."Ah well, sometimes I’m just too oblivious for my own good, I guess. I wear this blind fold out of my own free will, just hoping someone will have the good sense to either kick me in the shins or take the blindfold off. (One or the other) I’ve got no chip on my shoulder, no test of masculinity to past, and nothing to prove, except the fact that I desire to know the truth. I hope you’ll join me in this never-ending endeavor. Are you ready? Cuz it lasts forever…

Sincerely yours

-Tyler White

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C_UnvUsAjCs

(Even if you don’t read anything else…please listen to this, you’ll get the basic idea. And if you're reading this...thank you.)

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

Uncanny.

“Although every man believes that his decisions and resolutions involve the most multifarious factors, in reality they are mere oscillation between flight and longing.” -Herman Broch

I know I belong here...but do you?

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

Don't leave me high, don't leave me dry...

A broken vow, and a downcast face.
A dark remorse and saving grace.
The weather deepened within my sighs
I've faced myself on the darkest side.

Inside I've played a vicious game,
And that's what brought on the rain.
Through all the games I've tried to play,
You frighten all the clouds away.

So though I play these games with You
I pray You'd always pull me through.
And though the clouds bring forth the rain,
I hope I'll see Your face again.

 Psalm 119:76

 "I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

What will it take to make or break this hint of love?

This misty morning air and the clouds marking the horizon remind me that somewhere out there is a future waiting for me. There's just something magical about rising early and watching the sun come up, bathing the sky before me in light so surreal it must have sprung right from my imagination. As the light begins to grow, it slowly overwhelms my soul, until the sun itself rises from it's garden slumber beneath the world.

People are passing me by in a blur, each with a concentration far beyond my desire to understand. They each have so much purpose, executed under the least influential of circumstances. Some walk fast, while others just plod along. One young lady is reading with an expressionless countenance, and though I can't see the cover, I wonder if the story is even worth reading. Many faces are hidden behind the fumes from a warm cup, while others seclude themselves with downcast eyes and earphones. A few even stop to observe me as I simply watch, and write, though they do not stop for long.

It's times like this that I can't help but think of you.  Wonder where you are, what you're doing, and I wonder if you're thinking of me too.

and as the clouds are swept from the sky, the serenity has passed...

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

I'm begging you to be my escape...

As I look around this room, I'm quickly realizing that I'm at that point where childhood and life become nonexistent. The lines distinctly dividing the two states of being have blurred, making anything possible. All of us look like adults, we walk like adults, some of us talk like adults, few of us think like adults.

So hand feed me the answers, so that I'll never be in doubt again. The worst fate I could suffer is to actually make something of myself. Here's to the chances I'll never take and the faces I'll never make.

In the end it's just SAT dreams and new guitar strings, looking forward to the next weekend and where it will place me. Meanwhile, I just want to be a child again...

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

If every man became a king, we could start it all with this...

"A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves..."  - Lao Tzu

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

Let me re-introduce myself as a man with a cause...

Yup...


I've had enough...


You with me?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMzawVxIwfw


"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

Yesterday, I would have hated the boy you see...

Okay, so maybe I didn't say the right thing. Maybe I didn't act as excited as I should have, but it was something else to see...that stands without a doubt.

Just chalk it up to my being so oblivious...

And yes...that is a bad excuse.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6q6SnVWakkY

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

So walk with me into the fire, come on, follow me close behind...

"Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten." 
-G.K. Chesterton 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8Kq3KegWj8

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

"Say Tyler, you want to play a memory game?"

One hen...

Two ducks...

Three squawking geese...

Four limerick oysters...

Five corpulent porpoises...

Six pairs of Don Alverzo's tweezers...

Seven thousand Macedonians in full battle array... 

Eight brass monkeys from the ancient sacred crypts of Egypt...


Nine apathetic, sympathetic, diabetic, old men on roller skates with a marked propensity towards procrastination and sloth...


Ten lyrical, spherical, diabolical denizens of the deep who hall stall around the corner of the quo of the quay of the quivery, all at the same time. 

:P 
 

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

Reflexiónes profundas y Melodías

Clayton fue sólo de dieciocho años de edad que noche, pero todavía no le tomó desea descubrir las emociones, en el viento. Mezclar con las nubes Como baila y canta, navega encima de nosotros ahora Entre su papel sujetó alas que dudo él jamás se bajará

Si supe cómo volar de aquí donde historias son oídas todo el tiempo y los sueños son pescados de la salmuera profunda del mar. Estaría de allí permanecer. El aire sería llenado de la vida de noche nadie podría ayudar pero cantar Mientras el colocó sus canciones en el ala porque son recordados de mejores días.

Sarah miraba hormigas en sus líneas ordenadas. Los desfiles de arriba, Cuando de repente la voz vino a ella de algún modo. El sonido de canción agradable que Busca esa melodía, la Espalda y todo alrededor de Alabar los ojos y la belleza extraordinaria que Ella nunca pensó de mirar abajo.

Si supe cómo volar de aquí Donde historias son oídas todo el tiempo y los sueños son pescados de la salmuera profunda del mar. Estaría de allí permanecer. El aire sería llenado de la vida de noche nadie podría ayudar pero cantar Mientras el colocó sus canciones en el ala Porque son recordados de mejores días...

"Yo tan soy distraído por las reacciones de algunas personas que yo no veo mis propios defectos para lo que son. A veces es tan auto destructivo, con ninguna intención ni el motivo, pero detrás de esta emoción, allí está un corazón sensato. ..”

I feel the stillness of the sun, and I feel fine...

In my world there are only a few shades of grey and a million shades of green...
But I can taste every single one...

Care to join me?

 "I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

It's time that will tell this tale.

I forgot.

Failure is hidden.
Failure is forgetting.
Failure is losing your grip.
Failure is speaking out of turn.

Knowing full well what the truth is, but turning your back on it. Standing on the edge of the great divide, seeing the depth...and stepping anyway.

Failure is obvious.
Failure is everywhere.
Failure is oblivious.
Failure is silent.

And then...after all of that...
You remember what you forgot...
You tie all the ends together, and in the end...It really was your fault.

Curse introspect.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3ihJgTMS4Q

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

There are liars outside your window singing syncopated rhythms...

I’m riding the walls as they close in on me. Each side is getting closer to the other as the pressure begins to build, just before it can’t be contained. The serenity hidden in the middle is where I sit, ignoring the ever present thought of danger on each side. It’s the familiarity of the place that reminds me of where I’ve been and where I am now. 

Sometimes it’s because the wind blows just right.

Sometimes it’s because the sun shines right into my eyes.

Sometimes that chord hits my ears just right, and my soul swells. 

Sometimes it’s the smell of your house. It’s full and rich, just like old books, and growing things. 

Right now…I think it’s because the time of year is just right.

Whatever it is…I’m content to wait right here until the outcome hits me in the face.

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

"I'll always be grounded..."

Lately I'm alright
And lately I'm not scared
I've figured out
That what you do to me feels like
I'm floating on air
I don't need to know right now
All I know is I believe
In the very thing that got us here
And now I can't leave

Say anything, but say what you mean
'cause I'm caught in suspension

Now,
I'm wanting this for sure
And I'll beg for nothing more
I'll plan all day and drive all night
You'll love what's in store
I can't seem to stop this now
Even if it's not so clear
And I'll take what I can get
If you want me here (If you want me here)

Say anything, but say what you mean.
When you whisper you want this
Your eyes tell the same
We are gaining speed
I can barely breathe
'cause I'm caught in suspension

It's enough for me to get excited
It's enough for me to feel...woooooah ooooh oh oh oh

Say anything, but say what you mean
When you whisper you want this (when you whisper you want this)
Your eyes tell the same

We are gaining speed (suspension)
I can barely breathe (Oh, I can barely breathe)
I'm caught in suspension (Suspension)
I'm caught in suspension


"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

Don't wait for daylight...

It's always the best questions that merit no answers. To fill one's insides with doubt, just like drinking murky water, always takes a bit of introspect.

For the first time, that still and small voice in the back of your head has a face, much worse...it has a name.
"Hello? Are you there friend? Can you hear me? It's your desires calling. We need to remind you of what you shouldn't say." But I say them anyway, because curiosity truly is what killed the kind.

I can't see everything, though I want to. I can see anything...anything except that which is important. Just call me oblivious. Maybe it's because my eyes are dim, maybe it's because you're moving too fast, maybe it's because my eyes are covered, maybe it's because you'll change instead.

Or maybe...

Maybe it's just poetic justice...

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

We owe this to ourselves, we can't just let this go!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=of9U3aGUyvU&feature=related
 *Unintelligible burst of excitement*

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

"I'm not after fame and fortune, I'm after you..."

Until now, I was just a bystander. My only responsibility was a simple pat on the back, or maybe some kind words. Both of which I gladly provided. Other than that, I was perfectly content to sit back and let the scene unfold.

But something changed tonight.


I was handed my commission. Given my orders. Commanded to my station.

Now, I have my work cut out for me. However, if I am called to be the definer of future events, then so be it.

I just pray I'm ready for the challenge.


http://www.playlist.com/searchbeta/tracks#From%20heads%20unworthy/all/1

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."

"Curiosities, when departed, are missed...however small they may be."

I walked away, leaving my heart buried in the cave, hidden underneath the crevice. I know it'll be fine without me, because it will be in good company. I just pray that when I come back, it still beats of it's own accord.

As I continue forward, I leave my mind underneath the river bank, under the charge of the current. It will travel far beyond any destination I could ever reach. I just hope that when it reaches the ocean, it will send me a postcard.

I looked back today, and noticed my own footprints.They weren't very deep, or even very noticeable...In fact, had my own foot not been there but moments before I might have not even known. I just hope that they'll last long enough for my pursers will be able to see them.

I stopped in the doorway and breathed, resting as all I ever knew left me forever. It won't ever return...because I won't want it too....

 What was the answer again?

I hope I never remember.

I know that I'm not devoid of emotion, It's just that I don't feel them anymore. To be completely honest, I miss a bit of the old days. The angst, the tension, the rebellion. Now, I see how silly those days were, and so...I just don't have them anymore. I spend my days under the trees, in the sunshine...because the dark no longer thrills me.


http://www.playlist.com/searchbeta/tracks#The%20format%20the%20first%20single/all/1

"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."