"I'll call off the dogs, if you call off your guard..."

A while back, my dad and I went for a walk...and as you know, walking always constitutes talking...and so  we had a pretty lengthy discussion. We talked about, life, work, women, friends, and of course...we talked about God.

I confided in him that I had been speaking to our Father a bit more than usual, because of a misplaced sense of dignity, a bit of uncertainty, and a whole lot of disgrace...I told him that I didn't like asking God for things in my prayers. I felt that it wasn't my place. I mean...come on, I'm talking to the Creator of the universe. He owns everything, and I am nothing more than a lowly servant not even capable of worthy service, much less deserving of favors.

My dad, just kept walking...looking ahead...and paused, as he so often does when he's considering his words. Then after about a minute or so, he said to me. "I think that God wants us to ask Him for things, and He wants to give things to us, but it's not until we realize that what we want truly doesn't matter that He can do so..."

I'll tell you right now, I didn't agree with my dad that evening. I was feeling pretty crummy about myself, and my relation to my Savior...and I have been for the past few months, and that's not a good feeling...

But something shifted this week...

It's almost like Job said to his friends in Job 31... only I have made a covenant with my eyes, my hands, my feet, my ears, my head, and my heart..."On the brink of disaster I see, that the cause of my blindness is me. I can't be the one who clouds my sight. Clean off myself and reflect your light..." I'm gonna stop this thing right here, and right now. Why? Because it's my life! It's my life and I'm going to give it to God now while I still can. I'm going to drive it into the ground on my own so I need someone else to choose the paths I walk down.

'Course it's all because I'm just so stinkin' oblivious...But with some help, someday I'm gonna see more than what's simply below my own nose. Maybe...just maybe, someday I'll be worth more than a simple servant...that's what I'm working for. "I'm holding onto a fairy-tale. We're moving forward, but we're not there yet..."

However...



I did ask God for something tonight...



and I think I received it.


:)


"I get so distracted by some people's reactions that I don't see my own faults for what they are. At times it's so self destructive, with no intent or motive, but behind this emotion, there lies a sensible heart..."